Thank You, P

I have learned so much about neurodivergent people since meeting P. She has made me more compassionate and patient(ish).

One thing we had to work through as a family is her need to play alone. We all had to learn that she's not being rude. P told me once that sometimes when someone asks her to play, her "body vibrates" and she knows playing with them is going to be hard right then. But pleasing people is very important to her, so it's a stressful scenario for her.

So she made a play schedule. Something so simple and yet so huge for her. Her body doesn't vibrate if she knows in advance what to expect. And it has really helped C as well. She doesn't get her feelings hurt anymore because she knows which days P is going to play with her. She doesn't ask on the other days. She plays with J instead. 

Then yesterday I listened ot a We Can Do Hard Things interview with Hannah Gadsby. The episode is titled "Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better," and I highly recommend it. They have SO MUCH in common with P (so of course I also ordered their book Ten Steps to Nanette). During the episonde, they talked about how we often try to teach neurodivergent people to mimic or adapt to neurotypical behaviors, but we never ask neurotypical individuals to adapt or mimic the neurodivergent. Wow! What a statement. They even talked specifically about parallel play. 

Last night P and I talked about parallel play and what that might look like in our family, and she added a star to her play calendar. Saturday and Sunday are her play alone days, but from now on, on Sunday, P is going to teach us a lesson on playing alone and we're all going to practice parallel play. We will each play or read or do our own thing. Together. In one room. But remaining separate.

C: I already know how to play alone. It's just boring. 

P: Then maybe I can help you do it better so it's not boring. 

I am so proud of her and, truth be told, of me as well. What a fun learning journey we are on together. I am so glad she is being patient with me along the way.